Am I Hot or Not?

I think I've achieved 'Hot.'

I've noticed that men in the upper castes of gay male Hot are... y'know... talking to me.

Now, this is weird. I don't quite know what to do with it. I mean, I'm glad, since I assume that it will give me more options in who I get to hook up with.

I think it's a Philadelphia thing. Being Hot in Philadelphia is like being the tallest building in Venice, Florida, y'know? In NYC, I was definitely not Hot. Hot men there were really hot. As in, Greek gods walk among us.

So what do I do with this information?

I use my powers only for good, to be sure. And, in many cases, Hot is not a determining factor in who I chose to hook up with. So, I'm not at risk of being an asshole about it. I hope not, anyway.

Most Americans, when asked about what socio-economic class they fall into, will say they're middle class, and identify people who are better off than they are as 'upper middle class' and people less well off than they are as 'lower middle class.' This is the case whether the people in question are making $20,000 a year or $300,000 a year.

And it's probably the same with gay men in the meat market. There's guys that are lower down on the scale than you are, and guys who are higher on the scale than you are. There's a great segment of Andrew Holleran's Dancer From The Dance (which I used to read every summer starting when I was sixteen until I was about twenty-two... toldja I was gay) where Sutherland and Mallone are watching a man on the dancefloor, and Sutherland says "I just need to find a flaw... if I could only find a flaw, then I'd make a play for him." Or something like that.

I've known that feeling. "If I could just find a flaw, then I could make a play for him."

And, usually, there's no flaw to be found. Not looking through those eyes.

But then, there are other men. Men I look at through different eyes.

Like the homeless guy at Starbucks. Sitting there by the fire wearing nine layers of clothing reading a 19th Century British novel. About two weeks growth of beard. Good head of hair. Intense gray eyes. Probably not Colt model material. Probably will never be asked to do porn.

But he looks like he knows who he is.

That quality. He knows who he is.

That's kind of what it's all about. Hot goes right out the window. It's a thing beyond Hot.

When you see a man who knows who he is, you want to know who he is, too.

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