A debate is apparently raging on Leather Navigator. There's a girl in our midst. And that apparently is causing problems. I decided to weigh in on the issue.

To wit...

Hi, Leather Navigator.

Just wanted to throw in my two cents on this issue.

A coupla things by way of background.

I think Leather Navigator is great. The chief reason is the very very low incidence of flakes. I can't figure out why this is, but it's pretty much unique on the web. So many of the guys on here I know from Inferno or being in the scene. They're all serious. I'm on here to find men to whip, but beyond that, I spend a lot of time just keeping up with friends of mine, most of whom are on here, too. And, the system works really well. Just about flawlessly.

I'm on the Board of Gay Male S/M Activists in NYC. It is, and remains, an exclusively all-male organization. I've worked to not weaken this, debating men I respect on issues like, "Would it really hurt us if we let women attend our holiday social?" That said, GMSMA is an inclusive group. We're not a club. You don't have to be voted in. Anyone can join by plopping down their $50 for membership. And believe me, anyone does. This past year, after minimal discussion as it seemed to be such a no-brainer, GMSMA decided that trans men would be welcomed. It has not proved to be a bad thing at all. We don't catch a lot of flack from 'the commmunity' for being exclusively male (technically we're exclusively gay, too, but we don't administer litmus tests), because in NYC, there are several other very strong groups similar to ours, including The Eulenspiegel Society (pan) and the Lesbian Sex Mafia, or LSM, which is exclusively for lesbians. The big reason I support GMSMA's policy is because I think it's important for gay men to be able to get together. It feels good, and there's not a lot of places in the world for that to happen.

I'm also an Associate Member of the Chicago Hellfire Club. CHC wrestled with the issue of trans men this past winter. I'm not sure exactly what the policy is at this point. I think that trans men can't be members, but they can be guests at the clubhouse. I was for opening up membership to trans men, although I kept silent on the issue because for one thing, I'm relatively new to the organization, and for another thing, this opinion was largely based on trans men that I knew personally that I would love to see at Inferno, and not on any deep thinking I'd done.


Now on to the question at hand.

autre was 'introduced' to me by Aubrey Sparks in Seattle. Aubrey knew I was into whipping, and she was into whipping, so he gave her a link to my weblog (http://singletails.blogspot.com) and my email. In due course, I received an email from her, and we've kept up a correspondence ever since.

I was really glad when she popped up on LN. Now I'd have a way of being in touch with her, having conversations rather than email exchanges.

I would be in favor of allowing her to continue her membership.

Here's why. It's one thing when you're in a leatherbar or dungeon or party or whatever and a woman walks into the room. The energy and the mood changes. Some guys bristle. It makes it different. But LN, great as it is, is not a room in the physical sense. It's on-line. I don't feel anything different when I'm on LN and autre signs on. And given that it's not a chat room and operates more on the basis of messaging, it's not even as though she's lurking and listening in. She's just there, when she's on, and if you feel like messaging with her you can, and if not, don't bother.

So basically, I don't think it's any big deal. Even if I didn't know autre, I don't think I would mind a bit.

Now, I realize that for some men on LN, this might be the only resource that they have, the only connection that they--living in East Podunk or wherever--have to the gay male leather community. But even for these guys, I'd be hard pressed to believe that was an issue. I bet that's not who you're hearing from. Why? Because in my experience in gay bars in small cities you're likely to find *everybody*. The gay men are over there by the pool table. The dykes are lined up along the bar. The fag hags are buying drinks for their gay male friends. The kooky het irregulars are everywhere in the mix. The bartender's mom is working the coat check. The leatherfolk of all orientations identify themselves by wearing vests or chaps or whatever and hang out in the back by the bathrooms or mix with the crowd. There's not a lot of room for separatism.

And, I think that if suddenly LN is besieged with requests for memberships by folks from every part of the continuum of sex and sexual orientation, then that would be a problem, and a hard and fast 'Gay Men Only' rule would have to be put in place. But I don't see autre spearheading that.

Anyway, I'm issuing no ultimatums. I'm not gonna cancel my membership or stage a protest at the IML party or anything. I realize that you guys are in this as a business, and not out of the goodness of your hearts, and that if there are a lot of men on LN who are threatening to cancel their memberships, then that's something you need to look at. But to the extent that you've got some leeway there, I hope I'll still be able to run into autre online.

Just my thoughts.

Thanks.

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