Vote For The Worst!

I have never been an American Idol fan. Most of the repertoire is the worst kind of pop music, and that singing-around-the-notes thing gets on my nerves. The hosts and the judges aren't especially entertaining. And the idea of America voting for "The Best"... That's kinda how we ended up electing George W. Bush back in 2004, right? So there's something wrong about that.

But I'm loving the whole Vote For The Worst phenomenon. That is truly making me feel good about life. I hope the phenomenon spreads... talent shows, science fairs, the Whitney Biennial... no contest should be immune! Whenever the ultimate decision is to be decided by an "applause-o-meter," I'll know what to do.

And just imagine the results if the VFTW phenomenon would seep into the psyches of our contest-obsessed brothers and sisters in leather in San Francisco! The whole "Hi! I'm proud to be Mr. Leather 1700 Block Of Noe Street For 2007! And from now until my step-down speech..." thing. I'm for the guy who wears a caftan in the jockstrap competition, whose fantasy involves a dramatic reading of Julia Child preparing monk fish, and who is clearly in the throes of meth-induced paranoid hallucinations during the question-and-answer segment! If we're gonna persist in the delusion that these guys "represent" us in some way and are to be held up as "role models," then let's see what we can do to make it a tad more interesting, huh?