Sunday, July 27, 2003

Own your fantasies or they will surely own you.

Isn't that a neat and simple formula? I'm not sure if it's original with me, but it is in the sense that to the best of my recollection, I've never heard it before, at least not put so succinctly. So I'll claim it. It's mine.

It could be the subtitle of Singletails.

Own your fantasies, or they will surely own you.

There was a time in my life when my fantasies scared me. In fact, for most of my life my fantasies scared me. Even when they were incredibly lame, like when I was in high school and would jerk off thinking about simple rope bondage and smoking cigarets. But as I got older, they got more intense and scarier. Much darker. Cannibalism, snuff, hanging, castration, torture, slavery, degradation...

I was afraid of my fantasies, or more correctly, what the fact that I had these fantasies said about me. Surely I should be locked up for my own good and that of society.

Because I did my best to suppress them (I remember trying to jerk off thinking about 'nice' and 'normal' things... ), I was from time to time led into what were in retrospect dangerous situations.

Owning my fantasies was a huge thing. Saying, "Yes, that's what I think is hot." It was like flicking a light switch, and seeing that the terrifying and menacing phantom was a guy in a bedsheet. It was a very Scooby-Doo moment: "So all along it was the janitor, Mr. Jenkins."

The first significant discovery was that I wasn't alone. There are lots of people out there with the same dark fantasies that I have. So much so that I've had lunch with cannibals (hamburgers and tuna salad sandwiches) and I'm looking forward to spending some time with a guy who's hot to cut the cock and balls off of state troopers at Inferno.

The second significant discovery was that real life experience can be much hotter and much more satisfying than those pale shades. Your basic whipping scene is a life changing experience. Fantasies have no place when what's going on in reality is much hotter than any fantasy could be.

Own your fantasies or they will surely own you.


No comments: