Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Hump Day Morning

Inter'stin...

girlfag had quite the nasty a.m., too.

Here's mine.

I woke up. Faithful Companion was fussing. That means, he has to go out. Yeah, well, my alarm was set to go off at 4:15 anyway as I was due in to work at 6 a.m. So I'm getting up a little earlier. That's fine. I hit the light, stumble out of bed, and look at the clock. It's 2:32 a.m. I've only had three hours sleep. I take F.C. out, put him on a leash, send him out the back door, imagining he needs to pee, and there, a few steps from the back door, I hear the unmistakable sound of explosive diarrhea.

Oh, boy-boy! Not feeling too good? Oh my poor buddy.

We head back to bed. I just manage to drift off to sleep when what do I hear? More fussing from the Faithful One.

This time, I know better than to lay in bed drowsing. I'm up like a fireman and have my pup at the end of the driveway within less than a minute. More turmoil for my buddy.

Back to bed.

I guess the alarm went off at 4:15 as planned, but by the time I got out of bed to shut it off it was 4:58 a.m.

Yikes! This means I'm pressed for time.

While tea was brewing, I notice Faithful Companion sniffing around in front of the fireplace.

Uh oh!

This time, I wasn't fast enough on the uptake. Heck! I hadn't even had my tea!

So there I am, cleaning up dog poop--the really runny kind--at 5:15 a.m.

Good morning, Starshine!

Tea, quick shower... and someone needs another walk. There I am, leading my poor ailing pup up and down Tollgate Road wearing my bright red bathrobe and my Keens (see below). Back inside, get dressed, pack a lunch... and time for another walk, albeit an 'Insurance Walk.' At this point, I had given up on getting to work at 6 am. That opportunity had come and gone. I set my sights on the usual time, 7 am.

Success! I make it out the door! Success! I beat that damn school bus. When I get trapped behind the lumbering yellow wreck filled with snotty brats it means I'm 2 minutes late for work. And I hate that.

I shoot down Rte. 611 and swing onto the Doylestown bypass. I'm doing about 65, and the speed limit is 55.

I notice two green cones set up at either side of highway. "Huh. Wonder what they're for." As I zip between them, I find out. There's a cop car parked behind the bushes. And I come around the corner, and what to my wondering eyes should appear but four cop cars, and about six cops, two of whom appear to be waving me onto the shoulder to park.

So I do.

But wait! What's this? A black jeep, that was in the process of passing me (going really fast) when I went through the cones is right behind me. And the cops now seem to be waving people by. And none of the cops are pointing and motioning to me.

So... y'know... I took off.

No cops in pursuit. I made it to the exit and headed to work.

"Huh," I thought as I turned off the ignition, "Did I just run from the police?"

When I clocked in, it was 7:01 am. And I had cleaned up dogshit twice and evaded the police.

Other than that, it was a pretty good day.


1 comment:

mhg said...

Your morning seriously beats mine! I'll take slow rainy day Seattle drivers over cleaning dog poop so early in the day. And poor FC. Sounds like he wasn't too happy either!