If I Can Make It There

Hoss wants to move to NYC. Here's my thoughts on that subject, which I offered as a comment to his blog...

Some true but harsh facts about NYC.

1. There's no leatherbar in NYC. Therefore, there's no real sense of community among leathermen there. You'll be surfing the net trying to find play partners in your neighborhood.
2. The pace of life is pretty daunting. You will work and work and work. It's the norm. After work, there's the gym, and then there's dinner to worry about, and then the nine things you're doing this weekend. It doesn't leave a lot of time for aimlessly wandering. This is why there are a raft of publications devoted to spending time (what bars, clubs, galleries, restaurants to go to), because there's not a lot of room for serendipity and exploration when your schedule is broken down in 15 minute increments.
3. Getting a great place to live in NYC is like winning the lottery. You hear about people who do it, but the chances that it will happen to you are one in ten million. You'll probably end up in a 12x20 studio in Inwood, with a subway ride between you and a decent restaurant.
4. It's damn near impossible to keep a car in the city. Which is fine, as public transportation works well. But this makes it pretty difficult to get out of the city.
5. As far as the visual art scene goes, it's pretty much impossible at this point for a young artist to move to NYC, set up a studio, and devote a significant amount of time to his or her art, as opposed to waiting tables or whatever to pay the rent on his or her 12 x 20 studio in Inwood. Thus, most of the art is formulaic, not too challenging, and all about ego. It's what sells. (LA, on the other hand...)
6. As you point out, it's really expensive. The price of tomatoes (or whatever) is probably what you're used to paying, but here's the thing: money flows through your hands like water, just because there's so much to buy. There's always something you gotta have.
7. As it seems you've recently quit smoking, you will, however, be pleased to learn that smoking in NYC is about as difficult as shooting heroin. Pretty much the only place you'll find smoking is in someone's 12x20 studio in Inwood.
8. Crystal meth is everywhere. Just about all the hot boys you're likely to encounter will be tweaked to the gills. And then, there's the sad experience of watching those you love and care about go swirling down the toilet when they get caught up with that scene.
10. Terrorism. NYC has been and continues to be at Code Orange since September 11, 2001. When the President decides to divert attention from his administration's mismanagement of the economy or whatever and decides that the rest of the country should be on Code Orange, NYC sort of goes on Code Orange Plus. This means that there are teenagers in National Guard uniforms toting submachine guns at the major subway stations. This can be sort of troubling to your peace of mind, no matter how legitimate you think the threat really is.

On the other hand...
1. There you'll be, hobnobbing with people you read about in People. Everybody comes to NYC, and you get to meet them when they're there.
2. NYC really is the center of the known universe. It all happens there. And you get to be a part of it.
3. The Fire Island Pines is one of the most wonderful experiences this life offers.
4. Everybody in NYC is really really smart. You get to have great conversations on a daily basis.
5. Living in NYC means never saying, "Gosh! Look at that! That's something you don't see everyday!" West 11th Street in August covered in snow and filled with horsedrawn carriages for a movie shoot, 20 NYU frat boys in tutus and tennis shoes jogging up Avenue A, a mom and a dad and their little kids in emerald green body paint. And so much more did I see in my almost a decade-and-a-half there.
6. New Yorkers are really friendly. Conversations are struck waiting in line to use the ATM. You'll get to know the folks at your corner bodega. (Tourists are excluded from this always.)
7. The men are unbelievably hot, and love to have sex, so some of them are actually available.
8. It's the safest large city in the US. I feel wary and vulnerable walking in Philadelphia late at night like I haven't in NYC in years.
9. For the rest of your life, you'll get to drop 'when I was living in New York' in conversation, and immediately have standing and prestige with whomever you're talking to.
10. You get to become an anthropologist! Whenever you leave New York, whether it's while stopping for gas on Long Island or a business trip to Chicago, you get to be amused by the quaint and backward ways of the colorful natives.


Huh.

Could there be a meme in the works? Anybody out there care to offer the ten best and ten worst of their own cities of origin? I'd be keen to hear about Seattle, LA, and SF.

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