Ritual

Big and I have talked about a collaring ceremony. Actually collaring ceremonies, one in SF, and one in NYC. Both of us are (whaddya know!) walking in step on that issue, too.

This afternoon, sitting on the porch of Starbucks, enjoying a latte and a cigar, I opened my journal and began to write.

Here's what I wrote. (Note that everything is to be spoken by the officiant--whomever that might be--unless otherwise indicated.)

Friends, we are gathered here today to celebrate the connections that bind us together. We are friends, we are brothers and sisters, we are a tribe, we are of a people. And ultimately, all of us are part of one human family. We are all of us alone, but none of us walk alone on the journey.

We are here to uphold one of these connections between Big and Drew. Today, before all of us, a man will claim his boy, and a boy will be bound to the man he calls 'Sir.'

Big and Drew, are you here today?

Big and Drew: We are, yes.

This is no bond to be entered into lightly. This is a sacred bond, a holy thing, of flesh and the spirit.

Now at the threshold, take time, both of you, to reflect on the pledges you will soon make to each other, and how your lives have prepared you to take this step.

Big, in your life's journey, have you sought out joy always? Have you learned the music that your heart sings? Have you known loss and grief worse than death?

Big: I have, yes.

Then life has given you the gifts of wisdom, strength, courage, and compassion. You have much to offer.

Do you believe that you have found in Drew a man who will take pleasure in your guidance?

Big: I do so believe, yes.

Drew: In your life's journey, have you sought the truth in small things? Have you walked the road with boldness, under the midday sun and darkest night, And have you cherished the burning sun and the bleak night, as well as the rain, the wind, the dawn, the dusk, the thunder, and the dew?

Drew: I have, yes.

Then you have given fear no quarter in your heart. Your way is the way of the pilgrim, and with every step you have left behind one destination and set out for another.

Do you believe that you have found in Big a man of kindness and patience, to whom you can open your secret heart and show your secret face?

Drew: I do so believe, yes.

Dear friends gathered here, down through the ages, again and again, one man has bound himself to another as these to men propose to do now. Teacher and student, general and soldier, abbot and monk, leader and disciple, captain and seaman. One lesson of this ancient legacy is that we are, all of us, fragile and weak. The words of men are written on sand. But by our presence here today, we give our solemn promise to henceforth give to Big and Drew our love and support. We will learn from their example, encourge them with our friendship, and rejoice in their company.

Do all of you so promise?

The People: We promise, yes.

Let us form a circle of loving protection now around Big and Drew, joining our hands together. There is strength in this circle of warriors, and we now lend our strength to these two men.

Big, what thing have you chosen to show the world that you hold Drew in your heart? To show that from this moment until the last star dies that you will be responsible to your God, to all of us, and to the whole human family for the care and safeguarding of this man?

Big: I have this collar, made of eternal steel, to be secured with a lock to which I will always hold the key.

Drew, will you, here today, submit yourself to this man, and allow him to bind you with this collar, vouchsafing yourself to his care, and rendering to him your devoted service as a manifestation of your gratitude?

Drew: I offer myself to be collared by this man, with all gratitude and humility.

Drew, drop to your knees. You are made today this man's boy. You incur a debt you can never fully repay, but you must try always and in every way to do so.
Big, claim your boy that the Universe has given you with your collar.

[Big collars me.]

Now he belongs to you, Big. and you will forever be measured by the steadfastness of your commitment.

Big: boy, to whom do you now belong, body and soul?

Drew: I belong to you, Sir, body and soul. I am for your joy, pleasure, and comfort, Sir.

Big: On your feet boy, and take your place by my side.

Big and Drew, today you set out on a new road together. Big, you will lead, and Drew, you will follow close behind.

We now send you on your way with music, wine, laughter, food, and our friendship.

God bless you both!

To be sure, this can only be considered a verrrry rough draft. It came right out of my head a few hours ago. I'm posting it here as a sort of elaboration on my thoughts and feelings, and to explore how these can be manifested in ritual.

If you want to see how it comes out, well... I guess you'll have to wrangle an invitation!

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